When two people communicate, one person will begin the exchange from one of the three ego states and the second person will respond from one of their three ego states.

When people’s ego states are matched, then a normal healthy, complementary transaction takes place that enables good communication.

Eg: a wife asks her husband to nip to the shops to get something they forgot on their last shopping trip and the husband responds: “Sure thing, I’ll just finish this and then I’ll go. Is that okay?”

Crossed transactions don’t go in a straight line, such as from Adult to Adult. A crossed transaction is when the respondent comes back on a different level than that expected.

Eg: the husband (in the example above) responds as a Parent: “Oh, for goodness sake, why didn’t you include it on the shopping list? Can’t you even make up a shopping list correctly?”

Or the husband responds as a Child: “No, I’m not going. It’s your fault. You screwed up! I don’t care if we don’t have it!”

People may not be aware of the way in which ego states impact on their relationships with others. A person who is always in the Adult Ego State, will not be able to relate emotionally to others, as they are unable to express their feelings. A person in the Child Ego State or in the Parent Ego State feels uncomfortable in situations which demand Adult functions like data processing or decision making. Thus communication is impaired and interpersonal relationships are affected. The idea is to display the right emotion according to the situation, and to live in the here and now.

TA provides a way in which therapists may be able to help people improve their relationships with others. If people can identify ego states that influence their behaviour, they may be able to learn how to offer complementary transactions and, therefore, ‘get on better’ with other people.

TA teaches the individual to live in the here and now. It is not okay to stay on any one ego state all the time. Our personality has to be a blend of all 3 ego states. A person who is always in the Adult Ego State, will not be able to relate emotionally to others, as he is unable to express his feelings. A person in the Child Ego State or in the Parent Ego State feels uncomfortable in situations which demand adult functions like data processing or decision making. Thus communication is impaired and interpersonal relationships are affected. The idea is to display the right emotion according to the situation, and to live in the here and now.

Transactional Analysis (TA) is a way of understanding human interaction that developed out of the Psychodyamic approach to understanding the human mind. This theory was formulated by Dr Eric Berne in 1958 based on his own clinical experience. He popularised the model via his 1964 best-selling book, ‘Games People Play’. Berne believed that we were all born as princes/princesses and that the process of growing up turned us into frogs. The purpose of TA counselling/psychotherapy is to help us turn back into princes/princesses.

Berne, an American psychiatrist, originally trained as a psychoanalyst but his application to  practice was turned down on the grounds that he was not ‘ready’. It was felt that he needed to spend several more years under analysis himself.

TA is based on 3 key assumptions:-

• People are OK
  "I'm OK - You're OK" is one of the bedrock ideas of TA. The word 'OK' does not imply that you accept all behaviour, but it does mean that we accept each other as having equal worth, value and dignity.
  It is not a statement about what you do, it is about what you are.
• Everyone (except the severely brain damaged) can think
• People decide their own destiny - and these decisions can be changed
  The implication of these assumptions is that, if you are unhappy and want to make changes, you are the person that will have to make those changes. A therapist is there to guide you in the right direction, but they aren’t going to tell you what to do or do it for you.

From the 3 basic assumptions of TA flow 2 basic principles:-

• The contractual method
  Since both the therapist and the client are OK, contracts are used to keep the process open, clear and flexible. The therapist and the client work together on setting goals; and the therapist should always make sure that the client is happy with a particular procedure. TA views people as capable of deciding what they want for their lives.
  If you want to change, it's got to be you who makes the change. However, both the therapist and the client take responsibility for the process of getting the client to the point where they can make the change.
  Unlike a business contract, a TA contract is open to re-negotiation.
• Open communication
  In TA the therapist and the client agree the treatment plan together and the therapist encourages the client to learn the concepts of TA so that the client can take an equal role in the process.
  TA uses simple words to make its ideas more accessible.

Transactions and Ego States

In TA a transaction is an exchange of communication (verbal or non-verbal) between two people or within oneself. An analysis of these transactions, gives us clues to our personality, and helps us change ourselves.

According to Berne, the personality can be explained in terms of 3 ego states - each or which is an entire system of thought. This model is roughly based on the Freudian Tripartite Mind. An ego state can be explained in terms of the individual's state of mind at any given point of time.

During our first 5 years of life we learn to remember the emotions and behaviours associated with parent behaviour. We internalise what could be called a Parent State. Feelings, attitudes, values, prejudices and behaviours are assimilated from significant parental figures. We carry this state of being within us for the rest of our lives and this can lead us to be too too judgemental, critical or nurturing and patronising in most situations. In such a state, thinking is always coloured. We tend to be biased and prejudiced in our decisions.

We are able to recall the emotions and thoughts we had as a child. Thus, we carry a Child State within us for the rest of our lives. All feelings, behaviours, attitudes related to childhood - the basic sad, mad, bad, glad feelings are attributed to the Child Ego State. When a person is feeling extremely elated, they are in their Child Ego State. Also, when they are sulking, angry or cowering with fear, they are in their Child Ego State. In such a state, thinking becomes muddled and our decision-making ability sinks to a very low level.

From childhood,we learn to evaluate information and this rational ability develops into our Adult Ego State. All feelings, behaviours, attitudes related to the here and now - data processing, organising information and non-judgemental feedback are attributed to the Adult Ego State. This is learned behaviour - that is behaviour which we learn as we grow up. Even for something as simple as crossing a road, we need to be in our Adult Ego State. We need all our data processing skills to carry out this simple activity. It all happens so fast that the mind is not even aware that it is taking an Adult decision.

Graphics copyright © 2001 G Shadagopan

Life Scripts, Strokes and Games

Berne proposed that dysfunctional behaviour is the result of self-limiting decisions made in childhood in the interest of survival. Such decisions culminate in what Berne called the ‘life script’, the pre-conscious life plan that governs the way life is lived out. This life script causes us to selectively redefine some events and discount others as we attempt to make reality fit our story. Changing the life script is the aim of TA, leading the client to become aware of the decisions we made in childhood and to change the bits that don't work so well, and so realise our full potential. We become more autonomous by moving out of script.

An importance concept in TA is that we give each other recognition or ‘strokes’. Young children get a lot of physical strokes (hugs and cuddles). Adults exchange verbal strokes - for example, praise - but strokes can be negative as well as positive  - eg: criticism and put downs. Berne postulated that people need strokes and that, if they cannot get positive strokes, they might work deliberately to get negative strokes. This ties in with Nicholas Emler’s (1984) concept of delinquent behaviour as a form of reputation management and might explain someone’s negative and even self-destructive behaviour.

Berne also identifies that we exchange strokes through ‘games’ which are not always what they seem. He gives the games titles such as ‘Why don’t you?....Yes, but’. For example, Bill asks Susie for advice. Susie suggests: “Why don’t you...?”  - to which Bill responds: “Yes, but...” Every time Susie makes a suggestion, Bill says: “Yes, but...”. According to Berne, Bill is not really after advice, he is after strokes and this is a roundabout way of trying to get them. Other games include ”Now I've got you, you SOB" and "I'm only trying to help you". These repetitive, devious transactions may be intended to obtain strokes but all too often they reinforce negative feelings and self-concepts and mask the direct expression of thoughts and emotions.

Replacing violent organisational or societal scripting with cooperative non-violent behaviour is the aim of other applications of TA.

Transactional Analysis as a Humanistic Therapy

Although its theoretical base is essentially rooted in Psychoanalytic Theory, TA is also often considered a form of Humanistic therapy. With its generally positive view of human nature and  its encouragement to clients to take responsibility for their own thoughts and behaviours in the ‘here and now’, it meshes well with many of the precepts of Humanistic Psychology. TA also came into prominence in the early 1960s when the Humanistic view was becoming hugely influential and really did look like it would become the ‘Third Force’ in Psychology.