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Keith E Rice's Integrated SocioPsychology Blog & Pages

Aligning, integrating and applying the behavioural sciences

‘sex & romance’

Knowing Me, Knowing You – Excerpts

Excerpt #1: Do I really know Myself? Well, do you? Do you really know yourself? And, if you do know yourself, are you happy with your self? Do you like you? If you do…great! If you don’t…not so great…. I’ve been a management consultant for some 16 years, working in both the public and private sectors. This has often involved close coaching and/or mentoring with senior people, leading sometimes to deeply personal conversations and periodically therapeutic interventions. For the last 6 years I have also worked as a practitioner in ‘personal change therapy’ for people from all walks of life. And still, occasionally, it surprises me how many people who come to me on a professional basis either don’t know who they really are or what they’re about. Or they don’t understand why they behave in certain ways. In other words, they don’t understand themselves. Why they are like they are. In some cases, they can’t really see what they are like – and the impact what they are like has on others. Often the people they care for most!   These folks are confused. Sometimes they really hurt. It’s even worse when they do recognise what they are like …and they… Read More

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‘Jay’

April 2009 Jay’ was a a 17-year-old American girl whose father was in the American forces stationed in the US. Her parents had separated 4 or 5 years earlier when her mother had started a relationship with someone else. After the split Jay lived with her father; but often stayed with her mother and her partner when he was away on duty. However, it wasn’t long before Jay started ‘going off the rails’. When she was 14, she was excluded from the school on the military base due to appalling behaviour. Attempts to have her ‘home schooled’ were only partly successful. Alcohol and drug abuse and sexual promiscuity were all part of the syndrome of self-destruction which emerged over the next 2-3 years. Jay came to me for therapy because she was concerned her relationship with her current boyfriend was falling apart, largely due to her own inability to handle her emotions. I found Jay quite a challenge – primarily because she was both fairly inarticulate and in many ways very niaive. Although she had had a difficult life, it had been a relatively-sheltered one – living in the military community on several US bases around the world. I estimated her… Read More

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2015

Master of My Own Destiny…? 1988-1996    1997   1998     1999     2000     2001    2002      2003     2004     2005     2006     2007     2008     2009     2010     2011     2012     2013     2014      2015     2016     2017     2018 21st Century Group     HemsMESH     Humber MeshWORKS     Humberside MESH Network January: Committed myself full-time to my own business. Commentary: For the first time since the beginning of 2001 I didn’t have some kind of regular employment to return to after New Year. Truth to tell, this decision had been pending ever since we had moved to Bradford in Summer 2012 which led to a massive expansion in the tutoring side of my work. January-March: Ran an 8-week version of Understanding Yourself & Others: an Introduction to Psychology for Rossett. Commentary: Although there were just 4 participants, Rossett’s Extended Schools coordinator Malcolm Howe took the decision an 8-weeker (as opposed to the planned 10-weeker) could still be viable. Despite its small class size, the class gelled well and was as successful as any of its predecessors. January-June: Supported some 21 tutees in the approach to the A-Levels and right through the relevant exams. Commentary: By May I had 22 hours of tuition work most weeks which… Read More

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Is Sexual Infidelity Inevitable?

February 2005 Personal sexual fidelity is certainly something many people truly espouse as a noble intention at certain points in their relationships – such as when first falling in love, or getting married, the woman getting pregnant, or possibly resolving their partner’s bouts of insecurity. Some people seem genuinely to espouse fidelity to each other for years and sometimes even lifetimes. But these days actually sticking to one partner seems to be a real problem for an awful lot of people. People – particularly in the professional/middle classes – tend to ‘settle down’ later (in their thirties, often with a number of ‘notches on the bedpost’). Fewer couples marry. (Marriage in itself cannot be a guarantee of permanence or fidelity; but, in theory, it is an action of intent.) People with money who do marry often make prenuptial agreements, effectively planning for the end of their relationship. Divorce rates continue to escalate – approximately 50% of British marriages now end in divorce. The number one reason cited for divorce remains adultery – although a number of marriages do manage to survive at least one and occasionally several infidelities. Meanwhile promiscuity and infidelity fill our modern entertainment media – films, television, theatre,… Read More

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Lifespan

These pages address the application of Integrated SocioPsychology concepts to lifespan development – with a specific theoretical application to infant attachments and romantic relationships. More immediately-topical observations can be found in the Blog. Those who support the Integrated approach and are interested in such matters are invited to submit pieces for publication here as ‘guest features’ or ‘guest reports’. Please get in touch with your ideas via the Contact page. Psychosocial Development An exploration of Erik Erikson’s Stages of Psychosocial Development in terms of Integrated SocioPsychology Infant Attachments The Biological Impetus to Attachment  A look at how biological factors and biological-environmental interaction influence mother-child bonding Attachment Theory     24/07/17 Page outlining theories of attachment – and John Bowlby’s monotropic theory in particular Stages of  Infant Attachment Article comparing the stages of infant attachment outlined by John Bowlby and Rudolph  Schaffer & Peggy Emerson respectively Strange Situation  Page outlining and evaluating Mary Ainsworth’s Strange Situation as a measure of infant attachment Caregiver Sensitivity vs Temperament Hypothesis A consideration of how much the elements of Mary Ainsworth’s Caregiver Sensitivity Hypothesis and Jermome Kagan’s Temperament Hypothesis might interact to develop attachments Separation, Deprivation & Privation                05/12/17 In-depth article looking at the effects… Read More

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Knowing Me, Knowing You

An Integrated SocioPsychology Guide to Personal Fulfilment & Better Relationships Available as a FREE downloadable PDF!!! (see below) Read what they’ve said about this book! “Best Psychology Book of the Year”– Bill Hajdu, Berkeley, California on www.amazon.com 368 pages paperback with comprehensive index, includes 74 diagrams and charts (several in full colour). Available from Trafford Publishing. ISBN 9781412082914 The handsome paperback version of ‘Knowing Me, Knowing You’ can be purchased directly from the Trafford website and Internet retailers such as Amazon and Books Etc.  ‘Knowing Me, Knowing You’ can also be ordered via high street chains such as W H Smith and Waterstones and most reputable high street bookstores, using ISBN-10 1412082919 or ISBN-13 9781412082914. ‘Knowing Me, Knowing Y0u’ is also available as a PDF. The PDF contains 373 pages , with comprehensive index, includes 74 diagrams and charts (most in full colour). About ‘Knowing Me, Knowing You’… Do you want to know more about you – why you do what do, why you think and feel as you do? Do you want to resolve issues – perhaps that have been troubling you for years…? Do you want to understand others more? Do you want to improve key relationships – so that… Read More

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The ‘Gay Cure’: was Spitzer right to recant?

Robert L Spitzer is one of the giants of modern Psychiatry, a scientific philosopher as much as a hands-on medical man. He’s been a fearless opponent of too-easily-accepted givens, notably challenging some of David Rosenhan’s conclusions in his 1973 study, On Being Sane in Insane Places. However, Spitzer really made his mark by leading the campaign to have homosexuality removed from the Diagnostic & Statistical Manual (DSM) as a psychiatric disorder – which it was in 1973. So the news last week that Spitzer had ‘recanted’ a study he had carried out in 2000-2001 and had published in 2003 caught my eye – especially as I had referenced that same study in a lengthy letter I had published in Therapy Today, the journal of the British Association of Counselling & Psychotherapy, in 2009. My letter, titled ‘An Imposed Etic’, was published as ‘An Imposed Ethic’ – presumably the editor thought ‘etic’ was a spelling mistake and didn’t get the sense I was trying to convey through the use of the term ‘imposed etic’. My point was that particular, localised values and norms were being applied as though they were universals, without empirical justification. I had been somewhat concerned by John Daniels’ article,… Read More

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The Mamas & The Papas: Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll or Incest, Addiction and Unreleased Albums?

Did you know The Mamas & The Papas have an album out of new material – ‘MANY MAMAS & PAPAS’ – and it’s arguably even better than the albums they made in their mid-60s heyday? Er, hang on, I hear you say, how can The Mamas &  The Papas have an album of new material out when 3 of them are dead – Mama Cass Elliot since 1974? Well, of course, it’s not the original 4 members – though leader John Phillips (died 2001) is present throughout, had a hand in writing all the songs but one and produced and arranged all the material. Original Papa Denny Doherty (died 2007) is on many of the numbers – with Phillips’ protégé Scott Mackenzie (of ‘San Franciso’ fame) on others. The Mamas this time around are John’s daughter Mackenzie Phillips, more than surpassing stepmother Michelle Phillips in the role of soprano while the rotund contralto role of Cass is given a pretty reasonable pastiche by the nearly-as-rotund Spanky McFarlane (once of Mamas & Papas soundalikes Spanky & Our Gang). The music, which was actually recorded at various sessions in the 1980s by the touring Mamas & Papas and their backing bands, still treads the pathway between bright pop… Read More

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Wanted: Suitable Latvian Men for Latvian Women

This article on the BBC News the other day (13 October) really caught my eye…about there being a shortage of suitable men for the women of Latvia. Of course, there have been many shortages of men before. Usually after wars there are shortages of men since men do most of the fighting. Even in the one and only truly ‘total war’ of World War II, far more men were killed than women. Eg: the Germans lost over 5 million men and the Soviet Union an estimate of upto 10 million. (If just some of the anecdotes I’ve heard are true, British and American soldiers in the ruins of Berlin in 1945 could have almost any German woman they wanted, especially if they had chocolate, cigarettes, nylons, etc, to give away.) However, a significant shortage in peace time is unusual. Paradoxically statistics show that more male babies are born in Latvia than girls. However, a high early male mortality rate means there are 8% more women than men in the country. Among the under-30s, there are almost 9,000 more men than women. However, this is inverted between the ages of 30-39 so that there are almost 3,000 more women than men. This… Read More

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Just how many Homosexuals are there really?

This week, in discussing Sigmund Freud’s views (1923a) on homosexuality with a class of A-Level Psychology students at Guiseley School in Leeds, the question was raised as to just how ‘normal’ gay and lesbian relationships are. When I stated that most recent surveys – ie: in the past 10 years or so – have tended to average around 2-4% of the adult population in the Western-ish world clearly identifying as gay men or lesbian – ie: verging on the statistically abnormal – I was quite taken aback by the sheer vociferousness of the class that the true number was at least 10% and, therefore, normal. 2 things struck me about this response:- How accepting the class were that homosexuality was ‘normal’ – quite a contrast with a Psychology class in Goole 3 years previous, in which the class had insisted that Evolutionary Psychology ‘proved’ that homosexuality was abnormal and a perversion Where this mythical number of 10% of the population had come from and how strongly it was entrenched amongst the Guiseley students In and amongst the praise heaped on my book, Knowing Me, Knowing You, by Integral Review in 2007, I was castigated for ignoring homosexual relationships; I had 3 chapters… Read More

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